Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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