I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
