dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
