i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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