i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
its not stalking. its research.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
