I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I came so hard my ears popped.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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