I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
