38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
