How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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