Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize