I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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