i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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