no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
