no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
