I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
