I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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