Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers

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(240): View more from Maryland

He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(555): View more from

My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

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(407): View more from Florida

And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn

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