Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz

Replies (24) Good night (7060) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul

Replies (53) Good night (1342) Bad night (5621)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy http://tfl.nu/vzq5

Replies (11) Good night (5103) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4

Replies (11) Good night (7640) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp

Replies (113) Good night (1331) Bad night (24772)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you. http://tfl.nu/aegn

Replies (10) Good night (3082) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay. http://tfl.nu/hmq3

Replies (10) Good night (1287) Bad night (2770) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it. http://tfl.nu/j6vg

Replies (16) Good night (943) Bad night (1952) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible. http://tfl.nu/tds6

Replies (14) Good night (1513) Bad night (452)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy

Replies (8) Good night (1492) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous? http://tfl.nu/yl4t

Replies (9) Good night (1599) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! http://tfl.nu/jjmt

Replies (14) Good night (6257) Bad night (630)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present? http://tfl.nu/y1uu

Replies (22) Good night (1684) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20

Replies (4) Good night (1227) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

(360): View more from Washington

1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits. (360): 1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you http://tfl.nu/1254

Replies (9) Good night (2160) Bad night (263)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: