My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it