we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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