i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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