you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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