I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
