And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
