HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
