Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
