she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
