You just made me feel so damn special
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He has the fingertips of a God
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