I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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