I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
