If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
