apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
