all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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