I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
