Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
