We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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