Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize