I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
