Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
