Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You left your phone here
Wait...
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