WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i out mim tonsoeep
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