My room smells like vodka and shame
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
