Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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