i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
