i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
