I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
