There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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