i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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