she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
