She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
