Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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