His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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