Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
