She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
