The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
