So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
