its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
