brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
