you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
