In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
