Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
