that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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