first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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