you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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