just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
